I don’t know I have a love/hate relationship with my appearence and sometimes I just want to be a girl and be pretty and it’s nearly impossible for me to look like a “”“”“”“”normal”“”“”“” girl. every time I wear make-up (today) I look like a clown or a man in very bad drag, AND I get a lot of comments about it like “why are you wearing make-up you don’t need it etc.” when I barely put any on. when I don’t wear make-up I look ok but a bit like an ugly man. being masculine or androgynous is really fun to me a lot but I can’t seem to just be a girl or at least a nice looking man. I’m not sure why it matters whether or not I’m pretty but I’d still like to be pretty and feel attractive in at least some gender and it feels like I’m not and I kind of hate myself for it which is lame why am I writing this.